Flying with a Toddler 101: What to Expect + Real Parent Tips

My son is three-years-old, and we’ve taken all kinds of flights with him. I consider myself somewhat of an expert on flying with a toddler. Short domestic ones, long-haul international ones, and we’ve flown at all different stages of his life. And if I’ve learned one thing, it’s that there’s two things toddlers and travel days have in common: they’re both unpredictable.

I’ve survived a mid-Atlantic, middle of the night meltdown, missed layovers, lost strollers, and maybe my all time favorite, mid-flight leaking cordless breast pumps that I couldn’t remove because my son was asleep on me. 

I’m sharing everything I’ve learned about flying with a toddler here so you feel confident and prepared. Click the links below to jump to the various sections.

1. Before You Fly: Planning & Booking Tips
2. What to Pack in Your Carry-on for a Toddler
3. Airport Tips and Tricks for Security, Boarding and Waiting Around
4. In-flight With a Toddler
5. Our favorite airplane food and snacks
6. Diapers, potty breaks and emergencies
7. Entertainment Ideas

But before I get into it, I have to caveat that these are the tips that work for us. You know your kiddo best. For some of these topics, there are definitely varying opinions. Take the parts that make sense for you and that will work for your family!

Before You Fly: Planning & Booking Tips

Best flight times: There are a few schools of thought here. I’m going to weigh out the pros and cons of each option.

• Early morning flights: My son LOVES to travel. This means even if we have an early morning flight, he jumps out of bed and is not crabby going to the airport (even if it’s 3 a.m.!) If we have a longer travel day, this means he’ll probably nap on our second flight, and will have an early bedtime. I totally recognize that not all children would be this excited to get up in the middle of the night. So if that’s your kiddo, an early morning flight is probably not the best choice.

• Mid-day flights: This is the safest and preferred option for most families, especially if you can time it right over nap. It’s also great to have an hour or two at home in the morning on travel days before heading to the airport. The tricky part of this option is that if you’re going on a longer trip, it may not work. If you have a layover, are changing time zones, or there are limited flights into your destination, this might not be an option. 

• Evening flights: Evening flights are usually my last pick, but in some situations they’re great. If we’re going on a short, long-weekend trip, an evening flight is a great after-work option. I can still work a full day and save PTO. If you’re a working parent and book an evening flight for your return trip, please take a PTO day the day after you return. I’m speaking here from experience! 

Direct vs. connecting flights: When you’re flying with a toddler, both options actually serve a purpose. If you’re going on a shorter trip (under 4 hour flight), a direct flight is absolutely the way to go. It’s much more convenient and you get there faster. However, if you’re going on a longer trip, I’ve learned to embrace layovers with little kids. It gives them a break to stretch their legs, check out the sights of the airport and get a meal. There is one major caveat, and that’s to make sure your layover is AT LEAST an hour and a half for a domestic flight, AT LEAST 2.5-3 hours for an international flight. There’s nothing worse than running through an airport with a toddler when your incoming flight is delayed, or missing a connection (both have happened to us!).

Seat selection: We’re a family of three, so when we travel, this is simple. My son gets the window seat (note: if you’re bringing a car seat on board, it must go in the window seat), I take the middle seat and my 6’3” husband takes the aisle. I realize this gets more complicated with larger families. When I travel with my best friend and her daughter (so 2 adults, 2 kids), we typically sit right behind/in front of each other. This way, both kids have a window seat (trust me this is a good idea), and each kid gets 1-on-1 attention. Also, now that my son is potty trained, we opt for the back of the plane so we’re closer to the bathroom. When he was still in diapers, we would pick seats as close to the front as possible so we could get off sooner.

Buying a seat for your child under two: I’ve shared this a few times and have a pretty strong point of view. We flew with my son on our laps until he was literally a day away from turning two. If your flight is any longer than two hours, I’d absolutely recommend buying a separate seat starting when your kiddo turns one. This allows everyone to have their own space, especially if you have a taller toddler. I was always trying to save as much money as I could by flying with a toddler on my lap, but it just made the start to a few trips pretty miserable. If your flight is under two hours, you’ll probably be fine with your kiddo on your lap for such a short window of time. 

What to Pack in Your Carry-on for a Toddler

Essentials: Pack diapers, wipes and extra clothes (for your little ones AND you) in your carry-on bag. For all of these, make sure you have enough in case of delayed or canceled flights.

Snacks: This is one of the first things I pack to make sure we have enough room for a ton of options. There are many snacks that are perfect for traveling. We personally buy a few options that come packaged as snack size, but you can absolutely pack your own baggies too. Same logic here as the essentials – pack more than you think you’ll need. We go through them so quickly and inevitably need to buy more at the airport (which are very expensive!) every time we travel.  

Toys and entertainment: We’re not opposed to screen time when traveling. This means the number one item I bring is a tablet with my son’s favorite shows downloaded. You never know when there won’t be in-flight entertainment or WiFi, so downloading is a must. We pair the tablet with kid-sized headphones too. Then we always pack a few of our favorite travel toys too. Mini magnatiles, mess-free coloring books and Play-Doh are some of our favorites. I always make a run to the Target dollar section before a trip and get a few inexpensive toys for the plane and the hotel.

Comfort items: For us, this is more for the hotel than on the flight. But it’s never a bad idea to have a familiar stuffie or blanket, especially if the plane is chilly!

I have a separate post with the exact products I pack here, make sure to check it out! 

Airport Tips and Tricks for Security, Boarding and Waiting Around

Security tips: 

• TSA PreCheck: This is another one that I’m pretty passionate about. If you’re traveling with little kids, definitely invest in TSA PreCheck. One of our credit cards covered the membership cost for me and my husband. And little kids don’t need their own membership when traveling with parents. The lines are shorter, you don’t need to remove shoes or electronics, and it’s used by frequent travelers, so it runs smoother. 

• Liquids: The rules for liquids are different for little kids. Formula, breast milk, toddler drinks and baby/toddler food are considered medically-necessary liquids. This means you can bring them onboard in quantities greater than the standard 3.4 oz. Be prepared that the TSA agents may need to test and screen these items separately.

Stroller vs. baby carrier: Honestly I recommend bringing both when flying with a toddler.

• Stroller: A stroller is nice to have for naps in the event of unexpected delays. We always gate check ours. There are also great options that are small enough to store in an overhead compartment. I always bring an inexpensive travel stroller so our nice one doesn’t get damaged. 

• Baby carrier: A baby carrier is great if you have a velcro baby or toddler like I do who always wants to be held. There are great options for compact toddler carriers too – check out our favorite one here.

Pre-boarding vs. waiting to board: This is another one where there are a whole lot of varying opinions when flying with a toddler. I’d recommend doing what you think is best for your family. When we used to bring a car seat on board more regularly, my husband would board first, install the car seat, and then my son and I would board as late as possible. Now that we don’t always use the car seat on board, we all board at the same time in the last boarding group. My son isn’t great at sitting still, so I like to get as much energy out of him as possible before he has to sit for an entire flight.

Keeping toddlers busy during delays: There are SO many ways to keep toddlers busy in airports. Here are just a few of our favorites:

• Airport lounges: If one of your credit cards offers access to an airport lounge, definitely take advantage of it with kids! The buffet-style food is great for picky eaters and the vibe is chill with much lower stimulation than the main terminal.

• Playspaces: A lot of airports have playspaces to burn off pre-flight energy. If I’m flying into a new airport, I always research if it has one and where it is in proximity to my gate.

• Plane watching: This one is probably my son’s personal favorite. You’d be surprised how entertaining something simple like watching the luggage get loaded or planes pulling away from the gate can be. 

In-flight With a Toddler

Managing takeoff and landing: When my son was under two, we always made sure he had his bottle or a pacifier to alleviate ear pressure pain. Now that he’s older, ear pressure pain honestly doesn’t bother him. Now, I make sure he has a water bottle and a lollipop just in case. He’s always in the window seat and loves watching us taxi away, seeing other planes take off, and watching as our flight takes off. It keeps him really occupied for that first chunk of the flight!

Seat belt rules: Honestly, this is one of the biggest reasons I recommend bringing a car seat on board when flying with a toddler. My son likes to play with the lap band seatbelt, and I don’t totally trust him to keep it on while the seatbelt sign is on. I also don’t want to continually remind him to do so. He’s so used to the five-point harness, having the similar feel in flight is really familiar and works well.

Keeping them entertained: Having a ton of toys and downloaded shows on hand is super helpful when flying with a toddler. I’m sure there are some little kids who are good at keeping themselves entertained without needing a lot of attention or toys. My son is not one of them and I have a feeling I’m not alone! I don’t set any sort of expectation for myself that I’ll be able to nap or read a book. I do spend a good portion of the flight entertaining him. As a busy working mom, I don’t get a ton of one-on-one time with him, so it’s a great excuse to dedicate a big chunk of time to dedicated play time.

Handling sleeping and naps: The good news here is that for a lot of kiddos, motion and white noise are two things that help with sleep and you’ll experience in flight. Bringing a blanket from home is a great idea – it’s familiar and planes can get kinda chilly. If you’re on an overnight flight and need more than just a nap, try to recreate your bedtime routine as closely as you can on the plane. If you read books at bedtime, bring some of those favorites with you. If you watch a low-stimulation show, make sure you have it downloaded on a device. If your kiddo loves a late night snack, make sure you have some of those handy. That little bit of normalcy will really help in creating a familiar bedtime routine.

Mid-air meltdowns: I have a WHOLE separate post about this – make sure to check it out! The gist though is three things. Stay calm yourself, know that people are kinder than you’d think (of course there will always be that ONE person, but don’t pay them any attention), and take a step away if you’re traveling with another adult and can take a moment to breathe and regroup. 

Our favorite airplane food and snacks

Carry-on friendly snack suggestions: I typically will run to the grocery store and grab a few varieties of pre-packaged, snack size items before flying with a toddler. Crackers, bars, applesauce pouches and cookies are some of our favorites. We aren’t strict about snacks on travel days – they’re supposed to be fun! So I don’t worry too much if on that one day, my son is eating unhealthier than he normally would. You can also buy snack containers and fill them up yourself if there’s a preferred snack that doesn’t come pre-packaged in a snack size. I’m all about ease, so opt for pre-packaged when I can.

NEW snacks: This one might be a little bit of a gamble. I’m all about the excitement of new things on travel days, and that includes snacks. If you see something you think you’re kiddo will like, buy it and save it for a moment when it’s really needed. It might just save you from a meltdown!

Hydration: This is SO important for kids and adults when we’re flying. I bring a reusable water bottle for my son and we fill it up after security, before we board. I have a larger one for myself that I do the same with. That way, he can share mine if it’s a longer flight and he finishes his smaller, kid-sized one.

Overall pro tip: When you’re flying with a toddler, pack extra snacks in case of delays. Airport food is REALLY expensive, and so are the snacks on the plane. If you can avoid it, make sure you have enough snacks to cover yourself if there’s a delay. This is also really helpful too for that first night at the hotel or Airbnb when you’re unpacking but haven’t had a chance to run to the store yet.  

Diapers, potty breaks and emergencies

How to handle diaper changes on the plane: I’m not going to lie, changing a diaper in a small airplane bathroom is not fun or easy. Also, not all airplane bathrooms have a changing table (can we start a petition to change this?!). The rear lavatory is your best bet for which bathroom has a changing table available, but ask the flight attendant to be sure. If there’s not a changing table, you have a couple of options. The best one is probably to use the toilet seat in the lavatory (bring your changing mat!). And since the spaces are so cramped, this is where I really recommend bringing a change of clothes for everyone, just in case.

If you’re potty training: On a flight earlier this year, our plane was on the runway, seconds from takeoff, and my son FOR THE FIRST TIME, asked to use the potty. Obviously we couldn’t get up, but I was panicked and didn’t know what to do – I wanted to make sure the experience stayed positive for him and we stayed accident-free. It was a bumpy takeoff, so we weren’t able to stand for quite some time. Somehow, he was able to hold it until we could get up. The airplane toilet is a little intimidating for a kiddo who is just getting used to the potty, so I tried to make it as fun as possible. I’d definitely recommend bringing a travel kids toilet seat so that they don’t worry about holding themselves up or falling in.

What to do if your toddler gets sick: I have a whole post about this too (a lot has happened to us!). Check it out here but again, the main takeaway is make sure that you have medicine in your carry on bag. On this particular day, my son was totally fine all day until about 3 p.m., an hour before our plane was landing. When you’re flying with a toddler who has a fever, an hour is a pretty long time, and man was I wishing we had some medicine. Then of course, there was more time until we could deplane, get our luggage, and find the medicine that we packed. This is not the way you want to start a trip, and so preventable with a little bit of medicine in your carry on. Here’s a list of items I always make sure we pack.

Entertainment Ideas

Screen time: I mentioned this above – we’re totally okay with unlimited screen time when flying with a toddler. I never rely on having in-flight entertainment or WiFi, so always download a few of my son’s favorite shows on our iPad. We have both an iPad and kids’ Amazon Fire tablet. The iPad is great for shows and the Fire tablet is better for games. I also always bring our favorite kid-sized headphones, which I have linked in my full list of carry on items we always bring.

Our favorite apps, games and shows?

• PBS Kids: We have the main PBS Kids app where you can download shows as well as the PBS Kids games app. 

• Netflix: You can download favorite shows within the app. 

• Angry Birds: This has been a travel day classic for my husband for years, and my son loves it just as much.

Toys and books: I usually pack my Freshly Picked diaper bag with toys, books and games. It’s convenient because that’s my carry-on for the plane and I can also bring it to restaurants when we get to our destination. Our favorites are all linked in this post with my full list of carry on items we always bring.

Simple games: If you’re flying with a toddler on a plane with a flight map, it makes for a great geography lesson! My son loves pointing out the various cities, especially ones that we’ve traveled to. I Spy is another easy game to play on the flight, and my son loves even something as simple as watching out the window.

Overall, flying with toddlers takes a bit of effort and planning, but is 100% doable. My key main takeaways are:

Don’t forget to give yourself some grace – things will go wrong, it might be stressful, but that’s okay. 

Most people are more understanding than you’d think. If a meltdown happens, you’re not ruining anyone’s trip. Little kids have just as much of a right to travel as anyone else, and you’re teaching them valuable life lessons along the way. 

It’s all just a season of life – it goes by so fast, and one day you’ll look back on these trips not on the travel days, but on the memories you make with your family. 

Make sure to follow me on Instagram (@winedineandsunshine) for more family travel tips! 

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